A Step Above Buffalo Wings

I recently listened to the audiobook version of the latest by one of my favorite fiction authors, Douglas Preston: “Tyrannosaur Canyon”. In this, the sequel to the interesting “The Codex”, the story is told of a rogue dinosaur hunter who found an intact, petrified and preserved Tyrannosaur in the deserts of New Mexico. This leads to murder, a race to the find, the comeback of a CIA-agent-turned-monk, the uncovering of a government conspiracy that goes all the way back to the Apollo 17 mission, and an ancient, deadly power that, in the spirit of all great modern thrillers…

could…Kill…Us…ALL.

Of course, you’ll have to read the book to find out if it really did kill us all. Aren’t you curious? You may also be wondering if any of the story is based on reality. I won’t confirm or deny that, especially not which Apollo mission actually started the conspiracy.

There is one thing that is confirmed, though. Dinosaur tissue can be, and has been, preserved for us to find and analyze. Two studies that will soon be published in Science show just that. Through the miracle of modern molecular biology, scientists were able to extract and analyze amino acid chains from collagen in the femur of, you guessed it, a Tyrannosaurus Rex. The amino acid sequence can be back-translated into the original DNA sequence, and that sequence can be compared to other sequences currently on file.

The most comparable DNA (on file) to the greatest carnivore that ever lived? The chicken.

Now, anyone who’s ever read or seen Jurassic Park is wondering if we can make a dinosaur now. Not yet. But Jurassic Park fans will be interested to think about the comparisons of dinosaurs to modern day birds. The idea that birds evolved from the dinosaurs has been warmly embraced lately, and expanded on. (The T-Rex in “Tyrannosaur Canyon” had feathers!) Knowing these protein sequences can help delineate the evolutionary path from the top of the food chain to the bottom of a bucket of KFC original recipe.

Which brings up an interesting idea. We’ve never really thought about dinosaurs tasting good. But if they were the original birds, then they may taste even better then our own. A lot of people say lizards taste like chicken, ( I ate a turtle arm once, and it was a little green and slimy, but it was still chickenesque.) We’ve therefore never thought about what we would do if we cloned dinosaurs en masse Jurassic Park style. Of course, everyone would want to see them. Then what? What if we could not only show them, but herd them? We could literally revolutionize the chicken growing industry. We could get more meat off of one fat Stegosaurus then we could on 500 chickens. I guarantee that anyone who isn’t a vegetarian, or allergic to dinosaur, would be at least a little curious what the 3-piece Triceratop menu would taste like, and everyone would order it. Even more, who wouldn’t pay to bite a velociraptor? Why isn’t there a book out called “Jurassic Deli?”

I tell you, the future could be wonderful, unspeakable, astonishing, and delicious all at the same time.